My Hopes, Goals, Fears, & Expectations

Visiting the Middle East has been my dream since early childhood, and now my dreams are finally coming true. Though I only have 3.5 months to learn from these people it is my hope that they will be open in the sharing of their lives, and that I will be able to keep an open mind in what I learn from them. I hope to learn of the society and the people, and to find the humanity that lies behind the stereotypes and stigma that we so often see here in the Midwest United States. I hope that I will adapt quickly and that I will learn to be an observer that sees beyond the exterior of her surroundings.

It is my goal to visit, if not volunteer at a family planning clinic. I want to see how the average Jordanian, both male and female, responds to family planning, and to achieve a hands on knowledge of the daily life of those who run the clinic. I also have the same goals of visiting and possibly volunteering in a Palestinian Refugee Camp. I want to see how men and women live in these camps and what their hopes, goals, fears, and expectations are for the future. Often I hear that the Jordanian population see things vastly differently from what the government and monarchy portray to the rest of the world; I want to see if this is so, and how it differs.

I fear that the average American stereotype is somewhat true and that I will find I am ostracized and pointed out because of my race and gender. I fear that the men will pinpoint me as easy prey and make each day a trial. More than anything I fear that I am not strong enough to make it through these 3.5 months, and I will come home having wasted the government’s scholarship, and let down all those who have put so much faith in me.

Honestly, I do not know what to expect beyond having the basics (room and board, and studies) covered. I expect that I will learn more than I ever thought was possible and I will find that I am in for more than I bargained while I was in the safety of my home.